Loveless Hotel aka: the Legless Lizard Inn
(on the corner of Fascination and Recovery Street, in East Paradise)

The Leggless Lizard Inn. Ê

You can see Nod from here.Ê On a clear day.Ê East of Eden.Ê See there, where the buildings dip and there's a hill in the distance?Ê Yeah, just there. Ê

The Old Bastard threw them out - said they were making too much noise and taking the leaves off of his prescious plants.Ê Nice couple - he was a bit dim and she was... well to be honest she was always a bit of a wet blanket.Ê Smart enough - but ever since she found out what happened to his first serious girlfriend - well, she kind of just simpered around after him, listening to him naming things. Ê

He had a wonderful propensity for naming things. Ê

I remember the first one he lived with.Ê Oh, I forget her name off hand, but she really was a stunner.Ê fiery temper and frankly the sound of t her having sex used to keep people three streets away uop all night, but you couldn't help but like ehr.Ê Forthright.Ê Honest. Ê

She left after a godawful row.Ê I always thought that if he'd just talked to her... but like I said, he's never been very bright.Ê He went and talked to The Old Bastard who called her up and told her either she admitted she was wrong and marched right back here, or she was never coming back.Ê Ê

I hear she hung up on him.Ê About time someone did; you should have seen The Old Bastard's face.Ê I like to think she landed on her feet - never saw hr again in here.Ê Always did miss her.Ê The most amazing eyes.Ê Where was I? Ê

Oh yeah..Ê Well, he soon got himself a replacement who settled down and took the blame for everything..Ê Inlcuding the time when we all got blindingly drunk and trashed the place.Ê The told The Old Bastard that it was all her fault and she'd coxed him into it.Ê ha!Ê That's not how I remember it, and I was bloody there too. Ê

The old Bastard?Ê Well, he came up with all kinds of reasons for them moving out - the troubles they were having with their sons for instance.Ê Threw them out and still has their deposit.Ê I doubt he'll ever return it.Ê Just like him, isn't it?Ê And they moved over there - got themselves a little place near their eldest, in nod, which is East of Eden.